job search

Portfolio

Here’s the highlight reel of articles I’ve written.

Product Reviews:

Swiffer Wet Jet

Pirelli Tires

Zombies, Run!

Home/Life Improvement:

5 Secrets to Living in a Terrible Apartment

Showing off Your Fake Culinary Skills: Pasta Sauce

Saying Yes

The Importance of Taking Care of Yourself

Running:

So You Want to Be Jon Snow

Will My Legs Ever Stop Hurting?

Pop Culture:

How To Get Away With Murder Recaps (He Deserved to Die & He Has a Wife)

Your Next Binge Watch: Teen Wolf

Diversity in Young Adult Lit: Why You Should Go See The Maze Runner

Growing Up:

Mistaken Identity

The Worst of Me

What is “Self?”

For more information please contact me at milesbehn@gmail.com.

Thursday Three: Outlooks

These last few weeks have been filled with lots of high and lows. I’ve had interviews and rejections, leads and false starts. It’s not easy realizing you’re pretty unqualified for most jobs, especially when you know you could pull them off. It’s been a tough sprint, but I’m trying to remain optimistic.

1. Homemade brunch with friends is wonderful. Yesterday I had the pleasure of entertaining my old college roommate, Erica, for brunch. We made chocolate chip pancakes and scrambled eggs, mimosas, and coffee, and tea from Ricky’s gaiwan. And we talked. I love spending time with Ricky, because we’ve grown into socially aware individuals on pretty separate paths. But when we sit down to chat we fill the silence with stories and shared passions. We discuss the nuances of growing in our communities and our families. It is always a blessing to be in her company.

2. Rejections come in bundles. Today I got turned down for a job that I interviewed for (that makes four rejections this week alone). But I also had a freelance blog post accepted, and was invited to interview for another job I applied to ages ago. I’ve thought a lot about perspective today, and wondered if the negative at all clouds the positive. After a 3.7 mile run today, I’m going to say that the perspective is in my control. Failures don’t negate achievements. (Now ask me again when my rent check is due…)

3. Having something to look forward too will save you. Lots of things are coming up this season, and most of them come faster than you expect (I’m looking at you, Christmas). With the impending terror of the holidays, it is good to have something else to look forward to. For me, it’s NaNoWriMo. I’ve decided to have a launch party, celebrate the craziness of the month. I’ve also got lots of plans with friends in the next month, and I’m hoping these things will help me stay balanced. That, and the kitten snuggles I get to have every day I spend at home. That’s lovely too.

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Lessons Learned from The Kardashian App

Last week, I had an out-of-body experience. It had to be an out-of-body experience, because in-body, I would have never done it. On Friday, I downloaded the Kim Kardashian Hollywood game.

I suppose it was bound to happen. I’ve only been unemployed for a week, but I’ve hit the crazy threshold early. Talking to myself and my cats? Check. Not showering for days on end? Check. Laying on the floor and staring at the ceiling for great lengths of time? Check. Excitedly yelling “GET OUT OF MY FACE, WILLOW, YOU CONNIVING COW–YOU’RE NOT EVEN FAMOUS” in my living room at 2 AM? Check.

I’m not proud of the fact that I downloaded it. I’m even less proud of the fact that I still haven’t deleted it. That I will ignore it for an hour, waiting for my energy to charge, think about hitting the little X next to the app bubble, and then open the app and check my feed. It has pulled me in. I am at the mercy of Kim Kardashian.

This whole process has taught me a few things about myself. Maybe they aren’t great revelations, but I am trying to find meaning in the chaos of being a D-List celebrity, so GIVE ME SOME CREDIT.

1) I will go out of my way to get free things.

One of the worst parts of the game are these stupid silver stars with K’s on them. If I wanted to cheat I could fork over $100 (in real money) to get 1,250 of them. You use anywhere from 5 to 15 (60 if you want to buy the beach house in Miami) of these bad boys at a time, so if I were rich it would still be a terrible investment. Fortunately for the money conscious there are a few ways to earn stars without handing over your paycheck. You watch ads. Since downloading the app I have watched close to 50 ads to get free stars. (I HAVE to charm Dirk Diamonds so they he’ll want to go on another date with me!) I know more about men’s health than I’ve ever known in the past, but I’ve got STARS–I’VE GOT STARS AND I’M ON MY WAY TO A-LIST!

2) When provoked, I will turn catty.

It’s the Kardashian app, so I didn’t expect to get far by being squeaky clean. When a blonde socialite insulted my outfit and called me a “nobody” (EXCUSE ME, I’M FRIENDS WITH KIM KARDASHIAN), I had two options–charm or combat. I chose combat. I have since gotten my publicist in on the deal, and we’ve released rumors that this socialite is addicted to plastic surgery. (Cue maniacal laugh.)  Take that, Willow!

3) I treat fake money the same way I treat real money.

You want me to pay $200 for a hoodie? For a pink hoodie that I could get a Target for $20? Please. Fashion’s not THAT important. But I WILL spend $200 on a nice new dress. Divide by wear. How many photo shoots can I go to in this before some photographer notices?

New shoes for $500? Ha. Ha. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

4) If I’m not playing, it’s only because I can’t.

What do mean I’m tired? I don’t feel tired. I could do another three hour photo shoot. Come on! I want more energy! I want to play!! I want to go on dates and get to C-list and apologize to Michelle Murphy because I was a terrible girlfriend. But I’ve watched thirty ads for a Viking raid game, and I can charm the pants off you! I want to do things! Can I watch another ad? Will that give me more energy???

5) If I’m not careful, in-game achievements can feel like real life achievements.

What do mean I don’t have a job? I just did three photo shoots and a meet and greet at Kardash! I have been working my butt off all day–where is my paycheck?

I’m single? Please, I’ve been dating Dirk for like three days now (which is like three years in Hollywood time), I am SO NOT single.

I bought an apartment last week! I am SO TOTALLY SUCCESSFUL.

Unemployment and Kim Kardashian’s Hollywood do not go hand-in-hand. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to delete it.